The Emperor's Finest

Getting Guilleman

We find out the virus isn’t going to work because we don’t actually have a computer scientist. So we decide to blow it up instead.

Ok, blowing it up won’t work well. Let’s go talk to Marnius Calgar because MaCragge is getting f’d up and maybe he’ll listen to us now.

Kaius talks to the chief engineer and looks up the update records – he then calls Naia to help find the update records – and the records are in terrible disarray. Kaius then sics Naia on the chief engineer about violating record procedures, then jumps in to ‘help’ with an ‘update’ on a USB.

‘Command accepted. Running executable.’

The head engineer starts screaming in binary and alarms sound.

‘Executable accepted. Beginning update.’

‘Error: dynamic library not found. Warning. Warning. Warning.’

‘System compensating.’

‘System compensating successful. Rerouting.’

‘Manual override attempt underway.’

The technicians are trying to stop whatever we’re doing. Mynock starts smashing computer terminals with a big wrench while Kaius tries to hacker-fight the technicians. After freezing for a minute, Naia grabs one of the pipe bombs, walks up to the chief engineer, says “The Emperor does not tolerate incompetence,” and sticks it in his robes. Blackthorne attaches pipe bombs to the back of the tech’s chairs. One of the technicians joins the chief engineer in running and screaming.

‘Manual override cancelled. Operation proceeding.’

‘Manual lockout engaged. Locking out all manual inputs.’

The remaining Ad Mech flee.

‘System commands accepted. 1 of 48,638 updates…2 of 48,638…’

About 90 seconds later, the door blows in and there are space marines (update at about 32,000).

Mynock, the Brigadier of Bullshit, makes up some bullshit about a gas leak and the tech priests going crazy, but we just pulled up our shirts over our noses until the ventilation cleared it. Everything is peaceful and in order.
And they buy it. Tech priests are wierd, no?

‘48,638 of 48,638. System reboot commenced.’

With a noticeable change in the air, the field shuts down.

Guilleman is awake but can’t move. An apothecary comes in, tries to get the field reinitialized, and in addition to that not being possible Naia screams at him – really, everyone talks at once. However, we do get the Primarch off the dais before the field reinitializes. Guilleman is hospitalized and we are in jail. Oh well.

Tigurius comes to see us. Happily, he is not here to torture, kill…anyway, he gives us a chess set to pass the time after telling us Calgar has been demoted to Captain. There is (of course!) plastique in the chess set. We break out after playing a few games, and leave the board with white in checkmate.

The Inquisitor ambushes us at the elevator. Fortune inspires Mynock to duck, and a bolt goes flying over his head as the elevator doors open. Blackthorne disarms her, Mynock tackles, Naia hits the elevator button, and Kaius mumbles. We have a talk with the Inquisitor in the elevator about how we’re going to behave like adults.

We go to the VIP floor of the Apothecary. There are well-decorated marines lining the halls; the Captain of the Second Company addresses us (Cato Secarius). We ask to see the Primarch to pay our respects as emissaries of the Khan. The Inquisitor says we’re heretics, killed our Inquisitor, and demands that we be executed at once. Mynock says – well, yes, we did, but he went against Khan, who then dissolved the Inquisition.
Secarius passes the buck, and we go in to see the Primarch, who has apparently stripped down and is doing 30,000 push-ups. He has a good laugh at Abbadon, and then we get on to the good part of the story.
So, the Sisters of Silence. They were recruited and enhanced by the Emperor, but men turned out to be easier to genetically manipulate so he stuck to the Primarchs/Space Marines. Sisters of Silence were all nulls.
He had to find a way to remove humanity from the Warp/Chaos. Moriana with Arimann? Wierd. Anyway. Sadly, Kaius is turned down for position of armourer, again. Naia is similarly turned down for tea and stories. No idea where we’re going next, but at least the successor chapters are showing up soon to break the siege and Guilleman has halted the advance of Chaos.

Crash Landing

We arrive at Macragge and there’s a Chaos fleet there. The Captain orders the helmsman to gun it. The engines short out. Chaos shoots off our engines, which are shorted out. Since our frigate is on a collision course with Macragge anyway, we abandon ship so the Ultramarine fleet can shred it. Things are going less than well.
Our escape craft is also a POS, and so getting to the planet is exciting. We crash land on something a kilometer and a half short, which is fortunately flat. We fail to die. We threaten ATC until they send someone to get us.
Naia and Ignatia start walking after 2.5 hours. At three hours, two blue Valkyries land, point heavy bolters at the party, and stormtroopers file out and demand everyone get on the ground.
Mynock gets up and tells them this is not the way to greet the Inquisition bearing important information. They are unimpressed. When approached, the Marshal surrenders his sidearm. Kaius is, however, the least impressed, when he is woken up by a gun and tries to go back to sleep. He is then dragged out, still snoring.
Mynock tells the troopers, when asked, that there are no more on the ship.
“Who sent you?”
“Jagedai Khan.”
This goes over with some laughter. The party is zip tied and tossed in the Valkyries. They are being taken to the Fortress of Hera.
Ignatia and Naia are still walking. We kill an innocent (?) guy in a truck and drive through Reno. We hide the body out in the desert, ditch the jeep at an abandoned factory, and jack a new car to get to the Fortress of Hera.
Meanwhile, the gentlemen get beaten up by their stormtrooper hosts for singing ‘Horse With No Name’. They are then taken down, down, down into the basement of the fortress and put in an interrogation room, zip tied to chairs.
Mynock tells his tale to the Inquisitor, and she believes him.
Marnius Calgar returns with the Inquisitor. They debate whether or not this is reasonable to believe, then Calgar orders them freed and takes them to the library, where they are brain-****’d by Tiberius to verify their story. While being brain-****’d, Tiberius both finds that they are telling the truth and that there are two more agents. Mynock gives the Inquisitor his microbead and she stalks off after impugning Inquisitor Payne’s methods. The girls get picked up in a Thunderhawk.
At the stasis field of Robby G., there is argument. Naia gets frustrated and gives a speech, Kaius uses the distraction to try to turn off the stasis field. Turns out, we need a week for him to develop a virus.
Kaius: Goes and talks to the Tech-Marines, and works on his virus.
Naia: Talks to Tiberius, gets a wink, and then sighs and spends the rest of the week obsessively gathering data from all of the Ultramarines who will talk to her about anything they will talk about.
Mynock: Gets cornered by the Inquisitor and asked about Inquisitor Payne’s fate. Mynock manages not to tell any lies by very carefully stating the truth, and gets in a heated argument over the status of Khan and the nature of heresy and the place of the Primarchs.
Blackthorn: Reads the ‘Apocalypse’ section of the archives for Primarch-waking clues. They don’t let him read most of it.

with a prelude in G minor

Marshal Blackthorn, who had been occupied with a civilian law case in the fleet during the excitement leading up to the Inquisitor’s death, rejoins the party. He is prevented from arresting Mynock, despite an open admittance of murder (with due cause), by a tricky question of jurisdiction. Can an Arbites officer arrest someone sworn to the service of Primarch Jagedai Khan? Well, not without his permission. Probably. You see, it’s never really come up before…
Mynock and Blackthorn share a drink and the story continues.
We are given a small, fast ship that’s a long way from spaceworthy and told to go to Ultramar to wake Roboute Guilliman. We all lend our talents to getting the ship underway. Naia’s analysis on repair times is grim, but between Kaius’ technical abilities and Mynock’s morale boosting, we may just make it…

The Butterfly Effect

We convince Khan to leave with us on our ship. Kaius decides to stay with the Khan at all times, exclaiming: “He’s a living suppository of history! Er, repository. Yes.” We all stay in the cutter with the Primarch.
The Captain starts to get suspicious, which is not helped by our random answers to ‘why the hell are you staying in a little box for weeks’.
Mynock goes poking around the ship after Ignatia says she heard someone say they heard someone say something about ’wouldn’t it be great if the Emperor died and came back?‘.
Apparently the Black Crusade is making good time and has reinforcements. Mynock suggests increasing the crew’s booze ration, and stepping up the schedule of religious services. The Captain says something about hoping their new guest doesn’t cause them any more trouble.
We get back to the drift. Apparently the Primarch doesn’t like this Inquisition thing. We introduce him to our boss. They’re all gravitas-ey, then the Inquisitor demands to see us in his office. After getting a whiff of Mynock, and his three weeks of uninterrupted chemical toilet use, he amends this to shower first, then debrief.
So many Ad Mech! Even more than usual. Naia and Kaius both notice that these aren’t Naval, ship-fixing types. Everyone panics and looks for the Primarch, who’s in the Inquisitor’s chambers. We go up to see the Inquisitor.
Naia tells the truth, and says that she thinks it’s the end of days and we need to find and help the other Primarchs.
Kaius also tells the whole truth, and coos over the armor. Kaius confronts the Inquisitor about the strange group of Ad Mech, and the Inquisitor glosses it over. Meanwhile, Ignatia and Naia are trying to break and enter, looking for the Primarch, and/or valuables.
While Mynock is extending his conversation with the Inquisitor, Kaius and Naia go to DC, bluff their way past the watchmen, and Naia says:
“This is a test. The INS Moriana has docked. This is a test. Over.”
The Inquisitor draws on Mynock with intent to kill.
Ignatia breaks in to where the Primarch is.
Mynock blows the Inquisitor’s brains out, then takes his weapons and rosette.
Ignatia convinces Khan to come with us by saying, effectively, that we can’t trust the Inquisition and we are taking him home. He comes.
Mynock is stopped by the Inquisitor’s secretary. “Isn’t that the Inquisitor’s power sword? Did he say you could take that?”
“He tried to kill me,” Mynock answers, with the gun on her. She goes to hit the alarm, Mynock shoots and hits, but she sounds the alarm anyway. He kills her and leaves.
The alarm is sounding. When Mynock gets to the bottom of the elevator, there’s a group of guards with guns on him. He says that the secretary went rogue and killed the Inquisitor. The guards believe him. As they file into the elevator, Mynock tells the Captain that he must go up and trigger the combustion lock on the Inquisitor’s code books.
“Do your duty to the Emperor today.” Mynock says, claps him on the back, and walks away.
“Do we have a plan to get me the hell out of here?” Mynock asks quietly over the vox.
“Meet in the landing bay,” chimes Naia.
Khan wants to know what’s going on. Ignatia tries to explain that there was a threat on his life and the Inquisitor was lying to them. Naia calls Mynock and tells him that if he gets held up they need to leave.
Mynock calls CIC and says that the Inquisitor has been assassinated and he needs to take the fleet to Lord Inquisitor Girath.
When Mynock gets down to the landing bay, he falls on his knees before the Primarch and says:
“My Lord, you are the highest authority, above even the High Lords of Terra. I ask that you make me your first Inquisitor, as I have killed him who would betray you.” He throws the rosette at Khan’s feet. The Primarch picks up the rosette and crushes it in one hand.
“They have lost their way, whatever the intentions of the one who founded this Inquisition.”
With the Primarch, we go to the fleet, under the command of Commodore Gracian Angilelo.
The battleship, the ‘Path to Victory’, challenges our landing. Mynock tells the Commodore to meet us in the light craft bay. When that is challenged, Mynock says:
“Under the authority of the Holy Inquisition and the Primarch Jagedai Khan.”
We step off and meet a Captain who was unfortunately tasked to meet us. With the Primarch, we are quickly taken to the Commodore. The fleet is leaving.
Khan calls us all together and says:
“This will get interesting. The rest of my brothers must be found and roused. I need your assistance. I borrowed the good Inquisitor’s database, and one of the things I noticed while I was speaking to him was that there are reports that look like the work of my brothers. Look into the ones we know first. Go to Ultramar.”

We Meet the Khan

Southeast: Darkspine Mountains
Southwestern volcanic region: Augustine Blight
Pacific Northwest: Terrastria
Middle: Plains of Adonai

We proceed south through the field of corpses. Naia throws up regularly. We get to the spot where the militia guy said he saw our mysterious figure. It’s a battlefield – messy, tainted, and not what we’re looking for. There’s a row of undamaged enemy tanks, which have been eviscerated? Tracks trend off towards the southwest. It’s getting dark so we make camp in the truck. We find other vehicles that have had the same thing happen. Night passes uneventfully. The next day, we get after them again. We are headed southwest. Second night also passes without incident. The plains are increasing in ash content. We get into the foothills, have to dodge the occasional volcanic thing.
We find the footprints terminate in a cave. Let’s go spelunking! Mynock takes point, and Naia takes pictures. The ash peters out as we get into the cave, as do the footprints. As we get into the cave, Naia pulls Mynock back and points out a flickering light source further in. The party decides to walk casual, but quiet.
We get an argument with drunk Jaghetai Khan. Mynock kicks over the barrel of beer. More arguing ensues – apparently the Primarchs had a mother that betrayed the Emperor? Mynock leaves with a parting shot about Khan being a child. Kaius says the Abbadon said his top knot was better than yours, while undressing the Primarch with his eyes.
Moriana is the name.
We get back to the town. Jaghetai Khan decides to retake the planet.
According to Mr. BigPants we are going to the city. Now. Mynock suggests assembling forces. Khan agrees, then starts walking towards the city. Kaius and Naia fanboy/girl after him.
After his wide-broadcast speech about killing the Chaos bastards, and the Mynock says something about needing to get there before all the enemies of dead. Khan starts running.
Sadly, a redneck technical panzerkleist does not appear.
20 miles down the road, we hit resistance. Some Chaos patrols coagulated in response to the planet-wide broadcast.
Khan jumps on our truck and we drive towards them; close to the objective, he jumps off towards them and cleaves a vehicle in two. The Chaos LAVs open fire on him. We open fire on them. The Marshal tries to drive us into a flanking position and crashes in a ditch. Ignatia takes cover in the ditch, Naia starts up the ditch towards the fight, and Mynock gets in a good shot at a vision block on the right LAV while Kaius hides in a wheel well.
The Marshal runs, slides, and throws a grenade. Enemies in the right trench: exploded. Awesome. Naia takes advantage of this to run up and take cover behind the right LAV. Mynock takes out the vision block of the left LAV.
Chaos breaks and runs. Khan tells us to let them go. Khan sniffs and says: You will need better weapons. The fallen are coming.


Message given to Malcador

Voice 1: Have you done it Malcador?
Voice 2: Yes my lord. I have placed Garro and Iacton Qruze on it. I have also ensured that we will have those on watch in the ranks of your sons.
Voice 1: Good, are you recording this?
Voice 2: Yes my lord, although this is most irregular
Voice 1: I know, but you must have faith. This will be vital later. The galaxy will be plunged into darkness. All will seem lost. In that moment, these people you are selecting must be able to act. It will seem terrible, but it must be done. They will know what has to be done and most will attempt to stop them. They must remain undeterred. They must have faith.
Voice 2: How will they know? How do they know who they are?
Voice 1: Simple, they will find this message.

Cadia Falls
The End of an Era

40K Session Notes: 5/31/2014
Magos Bennett is the leader of the dig on Rakesh. We head there on the fast-packet ship Intrepid Adventure.
We’ve come up with a new insanity to add to the rules: Must lick the highest technology on the ship.
We have a new techie from Hiigara. My seriousness, it is broken.

The find is a battleship, in 7-8 kilometerish pieces, about 7000-8000 years old. Naia points out that if it’s been in the Warp it could be much older.
We go on a tour. There’s something the Ad Mech are afraid to go in, so that’s why we’re here. There’s a monorail. We get kitted for the exploration of the compartment (cutting torches, rope, Oxygen masks, etc.)
Found Mark V Adeptus Astartes armor, along with period bolters and such. Magos’ guess is that someone was trying to rebuild a Legion. No people bits. No manifest. No name. They’ve run the serial numbers, but they don’t match anything in the registry. More preserved parts of the ship started in vacuum! Hermetically sealed areas have been able to be powered, but there’s nothing there.
There’s a hermetically sealed door, with a funny sigil. This is what we we’ve been summoned here. It has a really weird Inquisition sigil on the door – an I with a superimposed symbol we’ve never seen before.
Our Hiigaran not-tech-priest hotwires the door. It boots up. Last accessed: M31.232. Ignatia quips: Wait, isn’t that during the Heresy? Kaius says, worriedly: Hmm, this is a Gloriana class…
Ignatia finds fingerprint oil on the keyboard, but too many characters to make it crackable in any reasonable amount of time. Kaius then gets the door open.
There’s a black box on the table, in the exact center. There is nothing else in the room. The black box has the strange sigil on it, and there are fingerprints on the sides from it being carried. After much debate, we decide to not saw it open and just take it back to the Inquisitor. First, we send a message to the Inquisitor, and get a reply back saying that we need to return posthaste, and can open the box if we can figure out how to without breaking it. We enter the Warp.
The Marshall, Kaius, and Naia are fiddling with the box when we get it open. Inside is a datapad, which greets us in a feminine voice, then plays a recording. A baritone voice tells us to do terrible things, and then the datapad self-destructs.

When we return to the drift, Battlefleet Cadia is in pieces around the drift. We are informed that Cadia has fallen. We show the Inquisitor our message; he pales but does not change his orders.

We are sent to a Chaos-pacified planet, one of the ones where there have been strange sightings. To infiltrate, we bring our packet ship in on the far side of one of the moons and slowboat a transatmospheric shuttle in, hiding amidst the space debris to cloak our approach. The resident Lex Mechanic has no idea where the next sighting will be, so we set off for the nearest one, down in the volcanic region.

We have a strange encounter on our way down. A bunch of cultists blow themselves up, and then we take fuel and beef jerky, bringing us up to 340 mile range with some extra cans from the hardware store.

Next, we find a military vehicle in bad shape. We take a can of diesel from the tank, a stubber, and 45 rounds of ammo. We are now at 300 miles range.

Next, we find another town – somewhat more substantial than the last. We are at 250 mile range. The town is a 4×4 square. We decide to drive through as quickly as possible. We get hit with las-fire – two to the engine. One takes out the coolant. The other is a fuel line. We coast out of town on momentum. As people file out towards us, Ignatia yells:
“In the name of the Emperor, we’re here to help!”
The agent steps out into plain sight, throws his carbine to the side, and puts his hands up. The technician gets out and starts fixing the car. The Marshal gets out, puts his hands on his hips, and yells:
“Now why in the name of the Emperor are you shooting at the Inquisition?”
The agent walks forward.
There is apparently another Marshal running this bunch. They talk. We are now friends. One of the men has seen the apparition, and is taking us there. We get a big diesel truck to take us there. Our range is now 600 miles.


Transmission Aborted

40K Session Notes: 5/26/2014

Commencing: Operation Dreamsicle
Mission profile: Not smashing the planet until candy comes out.
Go to Giredon Prime
Have requested a Valkyrie with high-grade optics and directional RF finder. Bertrand (aka Sam the Eagle) says the Valkyrie is easy, the extra packages are iffy.
When we arrive, we find the valkyrie. Turbo checks it out and says it’s good. We have a message to go to Radio Shack #1156159. We rent a van.
When we get there, we get three boxes containing hunter’s binoculars and ‘My First RF’ set, and an apology from Bertrand.
Ok, now to find a tech priest to make this not suck. We go to the walled Ad Mech conclave, and our wheelman stays in the car. File forms. File forms to expedite the forms. End timeline: 2 weeks. We send a message to Bertrand for help expediting, estimated 2 days.
Then we get a suite at the Space Hampton Inn and set up our gear.
Bertrand gets back to us with a new authorization code, bumping up the work order to 48 hours.
Time elapsed on planet until meeting with Tech Priest: 4 days.
At 2d18hr, we get a new transmission.
New transmission is a missive on the new Inquisitor in town, giving a quick bio and location(!) and picture (grainy picture of guy in a crowd, at least a few months ago because Inq doesn’t look haggard). We feel confirmed in our estimate that the leaks are being done by a team.
At 4d8hr, we get our Valkyrie seen to. Tech Priest very unhappy. Our ‘First RF Set’ is now wired directly into the central electrical trunk, and may cause our plane to turn off unexpectedly.
Our Marshal(?) goes to talk to the Arbites, gets in with the local Judiciary. Who says that the leak is professional. As far as the Arbites know, this guy doesn’t brag anywhere. And his gear is better than milspec.
Marshal takes a note: who are our Inquisitor’s enemies? Of course, we’ll never find out.
Any reports of stolen technology from local PDF depots?
Chaos caused by the pacification makes communications register search iffy.
Judiciary very worried about this leak; it’s causing a lot of problems.
No copycats yet.
Ignatia goes to try to steal stuff from Neiman Marcus; it’s too well guarded so she decides to courts the black market as a buyer rather than a seller.
She finds a fence, Chumley, and gets the name of an electronics fence (Lucas). She tries to validate this info with another fence and fails.
Kate and Paul go to Lucas’. Paul mentions Chumley. They end up having to go take a gang out.
Meanwhile, Jen and Carper get a ping. We fly casual, and find a TV truck, a moving truck, and a box truck in range. Cleveland happens to be in the area so we have him go stick transmitters on them. The TV truck’s transmitter doesn’t send, but moving truck guy sets off Cleveland’s cop sense. Cleveland goes all cop on the moving guy; as soon as Cleveland turns away, the guy picks up his cell phone. The Valk needs to refuel, so Cleveland calls up the Arbites with the license plates. It turns out there is a checkpoint coming up.
We refuel the Valk.
At the checkpoint, the Arbites pull the moving van off. Combat ensues. Cleveland yells for the perp to get on the ground, and when said perp tries to roll away, Cleveland fires a warning shot that debilitates his right leg. This successfully catches the perp.
The TV truck and box trucks had mundane cargo, the moving truck did actually have comm gear.
Interrogation of perp by Cleveland and Paul. Jen and Carper stay with the Valk, still convinced that this was a decoy. Interrogation not very useful.
STATUS UPDATE FROM THE BOSS: Bring him back. New mission.
We return the perp to the Inquisitor, as per the transit orders that come through. Paul and the perp have theological arguments the whole way home.

The perp grabbed Paul in the hallway, his eyes glazed over, and he said something about having expected better.

New mission: Rakesh. Take a look at the funky new artifacts, confirmed Imperial, that the Ad Mech excavations have uncovered. Ad Mech have requested Inquisitorial assistance.

Welcome to your campaign!
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The adventure log is where you list the sessions and adventures your party has been on, but for now, we suggest doing a very light “story so far” post. Just give a brief overview of what the party has done up to this point. After each future session, create a new post detailing that night’s adventures.

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